How to respond when your argument gets straw-manned.
When someone misrepresents your argument by creating a distorted or simplified version of it rather than addressing your actual position, they are straw manning your argument. This misrepresentation of your position creates a "straw man" argument that is easier to knock down, hence the name. Straw man fallacies are among the most frustrating to deal with.
Here is how to respond when your argument gets straw-manned:
Say, “oh, I’m sorry, I obviously did not communicate my position clearly. My position is—restate your position—and not—address the distortion.”
Now it is important when you restate your position that you drop all unnecessary jargon and make it as concise and clear as possible. Use the fewest and most simple words available to express your view—now is not the time to flex your vocabulary. Sometimes the straw man fallacy results unintentionally from a genuine misunderstanding of your argument—focus on exemplifying the intellectual virtue of clarity.
The apology in the beginning—“oh, I’m sorry, or my bad”—is authentic because you recognize that communication is a two-way street, and you may be culpable in this misunderstanding. The apology is also a disarming way to say that their representation of your argument is wrong without directly calling them out. Instead of “you’re wrong” the apology communicates that a mistake has been made.
The structure of the response juxtaposes their straw man with your argument which is an excellent way to delineate between them—nothing reveals a counterfeit bill like setting it next to the real thing. This structure undermines the straw man and sharply brings your actual argument back in focus with increased clarity.
However, if the person continues to straw man your position despite your best efforts to communicate clearly, a more assertive response is in order. For example, if someone repeatedly straw mans your argument in the following way: “so what you're saying is” followed by a gross misrepresentation of your argument:
Say, “those are your words not mine. Address my argument without rewording it.”
Or, if they straw man your argument and then strongly refute the straw man claiming to have demolished your position:
Simply, say “your response addresses a position that’s not mine.”
Both responses establish a boundary which is necessary when someone insists on misrepresenting your argument. They are only allowed access to your thoughts when they stop misrepresenting them.
Quick word regarding application of these responses: Do not get stuck feeling compelled to utilize these responses verbatim (although, you certainly are welcome to). Reword them to fit both your voice and the context of the conversation. Also, these responses are not limited to in-person conversations, they also work excellently in comment sections.
To sum up:
Here is how to respond when someone straw mans your argument:
Say, “oh, I’m sorry, I obviously did not communicate my position clearly. My position is—restate your position—and not—address the distortion.” Or, if the person insists on misrepresenting your position, then establish a boundary by saying, “those are your words not mine. Address my argument without rewording it.” Or, simply, say “your response addresses a position that’s not mine.”
So, the next time someone straw mans your argument rather than engaging your actual position try that and you’ll argue better and fight less.